Houston, TX — A Houston mom’s brutally honest breakdown of why many women—especially mothers—struggle with low sex drive has set social media ablaze, drawing cheers, jeers, and everything in between.
In a now-viral Instagram video, Maddie Muhs, a mom of two and talent agent, introduced what she calls the “mom libido equation” — a tongue-in-cheek but telling formula that sums up why sex often becomes an afterthought for exhausted moms.
The formula?
(Hours of Sleep + Number of Real Meals Eaten While Seated) x Partner Support ÷ Number of Annoying Comments He Made — Number of Times Touched by Children = Mom Libido.
Her answer? “Not an f—ing chance.”
In the clip, Muhs walks viewers through a real-life example that includes three full meals, eight hours of sleep, a supportive partner — and constant physical contact from her toddlers. The calculation left her with zero libido, and a growing chorus of supporters saying, “Same.”
The video, uploaded last month, has racked up millions of views and sparked a heated conversation. Some women praised the transparency, calling it a rallying cry for overwhelmed moms. Others, particularly some men, were not amused.
“You’re going to piss off a lot of men,” Muhs recalled her husband warning — and she did. While he had “no notes” on the formula, many online critics accused her of promoting neglect in relationships.
“She’s the definition of a trap,” one commenter wrote. “Don’t get married and have kids if you refuse to meet your husband’s needs.”
Another accused women of “using this as an excuse to not have sex” while still demanding monogamy. “You don’t want to sleep with your husband, but you don’t want him sleeping with anyone else either?” the user commented.
But for Muhs and many mothers like her, it’s not about excuses—it’s about exhaustion, hormones, overstimulation, and emotional labor.
“Male hormones are wired one way — it’s always sex, sex, sex,” Muhs told Today.com. “But for moms, hormones, lack of sleep, and being constantly touched by kids create a very different reality.”
This phenomenon, often described as being “touched out,” has become a familiar refrain in parenting communities—where physical and emotional burnout leaves little space for intimacy.
Sex therapist Aleks Trkuljia, in an interview with News.com.au, emphasized that libido isn’t one-size-fits-all. “What matters is identifying changes in your own desire levels and being open with your partner,” she said. “Comparison is a losing game.”
She also encouraged couples to identify why desire has decreased before trying to reignite it. A lack of support, stress, resentment, or even feeling unsafe in the relationship—physically or emotionally—can all contribute to a decline in libido.
One potential solution? Scheduling sex.
According to a The Knot survey, 14% of couples swear by calendared intimacy. Emmy-winning director Jay Lyons and his wife Sofia credit their 31-year marriage to “calendar sex,” saying, “It’s made our relationship one million times better.”
Even celebrities like Jenna Bush Hager, Amy Schumer, and Nick and Vanessa Lachey have publicly endorsed timed intimacy, proving that sometimes, a little planning goes a long way.
For Muhs, the reaction to her formula reflects something much deeper: a society that pressures women to bounce back—physically, emotionally, and sexually—without truly supporting them.
“We’re setting an impossibly high standard for mothers,” she said. “And when we fail to meet it, we’re blamed, shamed, or dismissed.”
Her message may have “pissed off a lot of men”—but it also gave voice to countless women who feel too exhausted to explain why they’re running on empty.